When You Want to Be the Mob Wife AND the Mob

Friends, countrymen, I have a confession: I'm not just from New Jersey, but the kind of New Jersey where James Gandolfini would visit my middle school. (His nephew was in my class.) In my professional opinion, now that mob wife-dressing has hit the zeitgeist, I think it's pretty stifling to have to choose between being the Tony or the Carmela. Everyone deserves a little of both. A little red sauce, a little chicken cutlet. A little bada bing, a little bada boom. Anyway, James would agree. I knew that guy!